Tag: parenting

Aslan, Manhood, and Sacrificial Responsibility

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn DevotionalsLeave a comment

My boys and I have been reading through C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe at night time before bed, and they have loved it. Though they are only four and six, they’ve been able to grasp the plot of the fantasy world and its battle between good and evil.

Last night we read the part of the book where Aslan dies on behalf of Edmund. Edmund, of course, is the younger brother who is tempted into betraying his siblings by the Witch’s promise of making him king. Even though he is rescued by Aslan and shows signs of repentance, there is “deep magic” in Narnia that requires the life of any traitor.

Aslan, the son of the “Emperor Beyond the Sea,” who all the “good guys” expect to lift the cruel curse inflicted on Narnia by the Witch, chooses to die on Edmund’s behalf. He allows himself to be bound, shaved, and sacrificed on the Stone Table to atonefor Edmund’s sin.

My boys immediately understood Lewis’ point, “That’s just like Jesus dying for us!” Indeed it is.

Now let me be clear, in Lewis’ story, Aslan pays a ransom to the Witch for Edmund’s life. That’s not what Jesus did. He didn’t pay off Satan. He paid the Father. He took the wrath of God against our sins on the cross. It was God the Father who poured out punishment on his Son, not Satan (Isaiah 53:10-11).

But Aslan does sacrifice his life for Edmund in a substitutionary manner by taking responsibility for Edmund’s sin. Even though Aslan didn’t commit treason, he chose to be punished as if he had so that Edmund could be set free. And that’s exactly what Jesus did for us.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “Greater love has no man than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). We prayed and thanked Jesus for loving us and dying for us.

I also wanted to teach my boys a lesson about biblical masculinity and its assumption of sacrificial responsibility. I told them that God wants each of them to become men who willingly sacrifice themselves for the people that God places in their lives, and that they do that by bearing the responsibility of leadership. Aslan bore this responsibility for Edmund, just as Jesus did for us, and we are called to do the same.

Each of them declared their willingness to die for another member of our family should it be necessary. “If August needed a heart, and my heart was the only one he could have,” Haddon said, “I would die so he could have my heart.”

Though it was sweet, I also wanted them to see that sacrificial responsibility doesn’t just mean choosing to die so that someone else can live. It certainly can, and did mean that for Jesus. But it can also bedying to yourself daily- your desires, your preferences, your rights- to serve those God has called you to lead.

This is what motivates me as a father. God has called me to assume the sacrificial responsibility for my home. I am called to lead and bear the responsibility for my marriage and my children. And God has called me to bear that responsibility by regularly sacrificing myself for them. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25).

So, I told them, that looks like getting up every day, praying for your family, working hard to provide, teaching your family the Word, spending quality time together, disciplining your children, making sure all the bills are paid, making sure all the relationships are healthy, seeing to it that everyone has what they need, taking care of the things God has given us, and so on. Gladly taking on the duty of these things and tending to them with care, even when you don’t feel like it, is sacrificial responsibility. And that’s what it means to be a man. And that’s what God wants you to become. That’s how you embody Jesus to your family, to your community, and ultimately to the world.

“So Daddy, you’re like Aslan?” I’m trying to be, son, and one day, I hope each of you will too!

Kids & Kingdom: Children in the Gospels- Heirs of the Kingdom

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & KingdomLeave a comment

I recently heard a counselor tell parents that one of the most helpful tools in raising children is the remembrance of their own childhood. This helps the parent remember what it felt like to be a child, including both the positive and negative aspects.

For example, it helps the parent consider how little things can be huge things to kids, like the friend that hurt their feelings during recess. In our adult minds, we know it was likely a minor thing and not worth getting all worked up about. But for them, it is as if their world came crashing down on the playground.

Remembering what it felt like to be a child helps us have sympathy and compassion for children and their experience of life. It enables us to enter their world, so to speak, and comprehend the things that matter (or don’t matter) to them.

Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses as one who was tempted in every way as we are, yet was without sin. He can sympathize with children, too, because he was one. He is not just our perfect high priest, but theirs too. He can understand their world, their struggles, and their dreams. He also knows what children are capable of, even when adults can’t see it.

Let the Children Come to Me

Jesus’ disposition towards children is displayed in several of the gospels. Consider this story from Mark 10. “And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them” (Mk 10:13-16).

Who was bringing children to Jesus? Probably their parents, siblings, or grandparents! Why? “That he might touch them” (v. 13)  It is possible that they had heard of Jesus’ power and how that power had been revealed through touch (Mk 1:40-42, 5:25-34). Maybe touching Jesus would make their children strong and healthy or wise and successful. Maybe it would even make them more obedient!

I think its more likely that they were seeking a blessing for their children. Blessings were often conveyed by the laying on of hands (Gen 48:14). So these parents probably though it would be good for Jesus to touch their children. Wouldn’t you?

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Kids & Kingdom- Children in the Gospels: The Christ Child

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & KingdomLeave a comment

Every year we pause and reflect on the miracle of the incarnation at Christmas time. It is one of the most important elements of the Christian faith, and is foundational to understanding the gospel and salvation. Entire books have been written seeking to explain the numerous details or implications of the incarnation. My goal is not to explain it fully here. But I do want to highlight one very important point about God’s entrance into the world, and that is how he came- as a child.

In my previous post, we read the prophecy concerning the virgin giving birth to a son in Isaiah 7. Just a few chapters later in Isaiah, we are given more information about The Son that will be born. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be on his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness, from this time forth and forevermore” (Isa 9:6-7).

“For to us a child is born.” The Son of God who upholds the universe by the word of his power (Heb 1:3) could have entered the world in any way he wanted. He could have come as a thirty year old man ready to begin ministry. Just as God created Adam as an adult, he could’ve allowed his Son to become man by simply fashioning a body out of dust for him.

As God took Elijah up into heaven, he could have sent his Son in human form down from heaven. Jesus could have come in a grandiose way where he would be seen and known instantly. Or he could have mysteriously come as Melchizedek does in Genesis 14. But he didn’t. He came as a child. As an infant. As a fetus. As an embryo.

Jesus of Nazareth was born to a poor family traveling to Bethlehem. The offspring that was promised to Eve, Abraham, David, and Israel was finally here. And as all offspring comes, he came as an infant, fully dependent on his mother’s sustenance and care. The nature of his coming is important. If he didn’t come this way, all of the offspring promises could not have been fulfilled in him, because he would not have been anyone’s offspring!

Christians often say that Jesus was fully God and fully man. But there was a time in his life when he was fully God and fully child.  Luke tells us that he “grew and became strong” and “increased in wisdom and stature” (Luke 2:40, 52). He grew up as other children did, in their homes and in their communities, learning, playing, eating, and celebrating. He spent time with siblings, cousins, and other neighborhood kids. He did kid things. But there were signs that he was different.

Continue reading “Kids & Kingdom- Children in the Gospels: The Christ Child” →

Kids & Kingdom- Children in the Covenant: Teach Them Diligently

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & Kingdom2 Comments

In my previous post, we considered the promises that God made to his people and how each of those promises found their fulfillment in Christ. God promised his people that he would crush Satan, bless the nations, reign forever, and save his people, all through the gift of offspring. All of these promises, just like every promise of God, “find their yes” in Christ (2 Cor 1:20).

However, God did not expect his people to be passive bystanders as he fulfilled his promises. He called them to faith-motivated action. After promising Abraham that he would make him into a great nation, God asked him to sacrifice his only son (which God stopped and provided a substitute for, by the way). After promising the Israelites that he would rescue them from slavery in Egypt, he asked them to follow him into the wilderness (including walking through the sea!). After promising Israel a land to inherit, he asked them to trust him and take the land even though their enemies were stronger and more numerous.

When God makes promises, he wants us to trust him and act on that trust. When he made promises to Israel regarding offspring and children, he expected his people to trust him and obey him. But what did obedience look like, and what does it look like for us?

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Kids & Kingdom – Children in the Covenant: The Heart of God’s Promises

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & Kingdom2 Comments

In my previous post, we observed the sin and brokenness that entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned against God by eating from the forbidden tree. However, we also noted that God continued working after the Fall in and through dysfunctional families to accomplish his purposes. In this chapter we will look at how God continued working through those families.

After the events of Genesis 3, God still intended to fill the earth with image bearers who reflected his glory and enjoyed relating to him. That is why he gave the command to be fruitful and multiple again after the Fall. And God would fulfill this plan, even in a world broken by sin, by making promises that would be fulfilled through the gift of children; promises that he would keep from generation to generation until the ultimate gift of his Son.

These promises are the bedrock of the Bible. Without them, there’s no redemptive storyline, no Savior, no salvation. But with them, the glory and perfection of Eden that was lost can be found again. God’s original purpose for mankind can be restored. A new heaven and a new earth can be inaugurated. Thank God for these promises! Let’s look at each of them in turn.

God’s Promise to Crush Satan (Genesis 3:15)

God’s first promise is embedded in the same infamous chapter in which sin enters the world. When God confronts Adam and Eve, he pronounces a curse upon the serpent for deceiving them, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel” (Gen 3:15). Here we see a battle that will take place throughout the rest of the Bible: the offspring of the serpent vs. the offspring of the woman. This does not mean that the offspring of the woman will always be righteous, however, but that from generation to generation, God will have a people, and those people will have to continually wage spiritual warfare against the serpent and his minions.

The ultimate offspring promised in Genesis 3:15 is Jesus. He is the perfect righteous one, the seed of the woman who stands at enmity with the serpent himself. The verse contains two interesting lines that describe their enmity. The serpent will “bruise the heel” of the woman’s offspring, but he will “bruise your head.” Some sort of battle will occur where the serpent inflicts a minor injury on the Eve’s offspring (i.e. his heel), but where he bruises (or crushes- NIV) the serpent’s head. In other words, the serpent will strike and injure the promised offspring, but the injured offspring will deal the death blow to the serpent.

This verse is fulfilled in Jesus’ death and resurrection. Though Satan “bruised his heel” through the religious leaders and Romans that crucified Jesus, Jesus crushed the head of Satan, dealing the victorious blow to mankind’s foe. When speaking of Jesus’ work on the cross, Paul writes, “He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him” (Col 2:15).

When speaking of rulers and authorities, Paul includes both the earthly rulers and authorities but also the spiritual ones behind them. And who are the spiritual authorities that Jesus puts to open shame and triumphs over, if not the serpent and his offspring? Indeed, he leads his people “in triumphal procession” over them, because he has rescued us from the their kingdom of the darkness and brought us into his kingdom of light (2 Cor 2:14; Col 1:13). He has crushed the head of the serpent and the heads of his offspring, and will continue to rescue his people from Satan’s rule until the day when final victory comes (Rev 12:7-12).

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Kids & Kingdom- What is the Imago Dei, Anyways?

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & KingdomLeave a comment

Back to Genesis. “God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness’” (Gen 1:26). As we saw in my first post in this series, this verse informs God’s mandate to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ in Genesis 1:28. God wanted Adam and Eve to fill the earth with fellow image bearers of God.

The concept of being created the image of God has historically been referred to by the Latin phrase imago dei, and it has received a lot of attention throughout church history with many asking, “what is the image of God?”

Having an accurate answer to the question is a necessity. If we are called to multiply image bearers, what are we called to multiply? What does it mean to bear God’s image? Do we still bear God’s image after the fall? If so, in what ways? And why does it matter? I want to answer all of these questions in this chapter, because I  believe that comprehending the imago dei helps us read the Bible better, appreciate work of Christ more, and understand our role as parents more clearly.

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Kids & Kingdom- Children After the Fall: Difficult Discipleship

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Imago Dei Class, Kids & Kingdom2 Comments

If the contents of my first post seemed too idealistic, this post may seem too realistic. Many parents or teachers may not feel like the language of the previous chapter- blessing and privilege and joy- describes their current experience with kids. These words are true of children, as we saw in Psalm 127,  but other words may also describe the reality of raising them: frustration, impatience, and difficulty. Why is this so? Because the serenity of the first chapter of Genesis quickly turns into chaos a few chapters later. And we live (and have kids) in the aftermath of the latter.

God’s first mandate to be fruitful and multiply was given before the fall, before sin entered the world. Thus, being fruitful and multiplying would have naturally led to filling the earth with children who grew up to be adults who walked with God in perfect harmony like Adam and Eve did. That was the ideal.

Raising children in a pre-fall environment would have been relatively uncomplicated. Imagine raising a toddler who isn’t filled with impassioned rage when you give him the wrong color cereal bowl or teenager who doesn’t struggle with pride or self-image. Unfortunately, no child was ever born into that environment.

When Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, they sinned against God. They declared themselves to be the masters of their lives instead of submitting to God’s lordship and authority. They fractured the relationship they previously enjoyed by rebelling against their Creator. Instead of looking to, worshiping, and following the One who made them, they looked to, worshiped, and followed their own selfish desires. As a result, the serpent’s promise came true: their eyes were opened and they knew good and evil. But their newfound experiential knowledge of evil came with a great cost.

Everything Is Broken

The primary effect of Adam and Eve’s sin was the fracture in their relationship with God. The innocence and intimacy they enjoyed with him was broken. The ripple effect of that fracture spilled over into every aspect of their lives. Everything about life became more difficult, because everything in life was broken because of sin. That’s what theologians call “the curse of sin.”

There are several aspects to this curse. First, Adam and Eve recognize that they are naked and make clothes (Gen 3:7). A lot more difficult than wearing your birthday suit every day. Second, they hide from God (Gen 3:8). Their relationship with him is now hindered by shame and guilt. Third, there is enmity between the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent (Gen 3:15). We see the difficulty of their warfare all throughout the Bible and around us still today.

Fourth, the woman’s pain in childbearing is increased (Gen 3:16). The blessing of giving birth now comes with hardship and pain from the moment of conception until the moment of birth. Many women may struggle to get pregnant or stay pregnant, both of which are effects of child birth in a fallen world. Even those who do carry to full term experience discomfort and pain, and many mothers give their lives in child birth.

Fifth, the relationship between husband and wife will be difficult due to contrary desires (Gen 3:16). Sixth, all work will be more difficult, plagued by the effects of sin (symbolized by thorns, Gen 3:17). Finally, mankind will return to dust. They will die because death now reigns (Gen 3:19). All of life will be a struggle all the way up until the final struggle of death. Everything is more difficult now.

This is the environment that children are born into. In fact, it begins before they’re even born. Couples may struggle to get pregnant, experience miscarriages, or give birth to stillborn babies. And once they’re born, it doesn’t get any easier, because parents, who are sinners themselves, are tasked with raising other sinners in a world plagued by the deadly effects of sin.

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How to Disciple Your Kids: 8 Tips

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Miscellaneous3 Comments

Raising children is no easy task, much less discipling them! It’s one thing to keep them healthy, (relatively) clean, and educate them. Again, no easy task. Trust me, I know, I have three! But to spend 18+ years helping them learn to follow Jesus? The task can seem overwhelming, so much so that we just stop thinking about it. We don’t have a plan, and we more or less end up hoping that they will end up looking like Jesus.

There’s a better way. Though the task is monumental, we are not called to go at it alone. God has given us his Spirit, his Word, and his church to guide us. Furthermore, there are all kinds of helps out there; I am constantly looking for these, and I love to share them. Here’s a helpful blog from a fellow brother in Christ that I recently came across that I had to share. Here are “8 Tips to Help You Disciple Your Kids.”

1. Set realistic expectations.

One of the main problems we have as parents is that we expect way too much of ourselves when it comes to discipling our kids, and when we can’t live up to them, we feel like failures and often quit. Family worship doesn’t have to look like worship with your church family with singing, prayer, and lengthy and in-depth Bible teaching. Gospel conversations don’t always have to end with some profound theological gem from you. We need to be realistic of what our family discipleship will look like. Perhaps that means talking about a Bible story for 15 minutes one night a week at dinner and trying to find one or two times each week to move conversations toward the gospel. Wherever you are, start there and develop rhythms and habits that work and then build on them to get to where you want to be.

2. See family discipleship as a way of life, not a program.

There is nothing at all wrong with having a more organized time of family worship—it is actually a great idea to do that. But we can’t see our role as disciplers as a program; we have to see it more as a way of life as Deut. 6 describes. That means that you want to strive to talk with your kids about Christ naturally as much as possible. Look for themes in shows, movies, and music and talk about how they relate to the gospel. Talk about the character of God, especially as you experience them in your own life. We have natural opportunities to talk about the gospel every day—we just have to look for them.

3. Focus on Jesus.

Our goal should be to always point our kids to Jesus. It is easy to fall into the trap of moralism—focusing on our kids’ behavior and wanting them to act right. But that is not God’s heart for them! God is less concerned with their behavior and more concerned with their hearts. And the way our kids will develop hearts that love Him and want to obey Him is through the gospel transforming them. This is why we always need to point our kids to the gospel and allow that to inform how they live. Their behavior matters—but why they behave the way they do matters far more. Focus on heart change through Christ.

4. Be a guide, not a general.

As parents we often think ourselves as generals—we have the authority to tell our kids what to do and point the direction they are to go. There is certainly a place for this at times, but when it comes to discipling our kids, we are better off seeing ourselves as guides instead. Think of a trail guide who travels with you and beside you. He or she doesn’t stay back at camp and just point the direction or give you a map—he or she goes with you! That is what we need to do with our kids in the journey of discipleship. We aren’t supposed to be the experts with all the answers boldly pointing the way our kids should go; we are to travel with them as guides—guides who have more knowledge, wisdom, and experience of our journey but who are still learning ourselves. Positioning yourself as a guide means you don’t need to have all the answers and that is important because none of us do. But it does give you the freedom to tell your kids that you don’t know something and you want to seek the answer together.

5. Feed your own growth.

The best teaching comes from the overflow of what we are learning. If you are looking for the one way to improve the most as your kids’ discipler, this may be it. Spend more time feeding your growth and growing in your understanding of, and joy in, the gospel. Dive into God’s Word more deeply. Read helpful books that will build your faith. Worship in meaningful ways with others and by yourself. As you grow your confidence will increase and you will also have more to share with your kids.

6. Teach by your example.

It has been said that people will remember more of what we do than what we say. We often focus our discipleship on what we tell our kids—and that certainly matters—but we cannot forget that our kids are learning far more from what they see us do, for better or for worse. As a follower of Christ, you need to be working out your salvation through God’s power (Phil. 2:12-13), but this is even more important as parents. How is the gospel framing how you live each day in the home, in the community, at work, and beyond? Are God’s love, grace, and mercy working their way out of you? Is the fruit of the spirit evident in increasing measure? Are you obeying God with gospel gratitude and joy? Model gospel transformation to your kids.

7. Connect them deeply into your church.

While God designed parents to be the primary disciplers, He did not intend for us to be the only disciplers. He has given us the church—our local community of faith—to come alongside us, encourage us, and echo what we are teaching in our homes. Just as it is essential for us to be part of the church, our kids need to be as well—for their good now and in the future as well as the church’s vitality. Prioritize involvement in church, not because you have to or should, but because you want to. This is one reason I love The Gospel Project so much—the heart of this resource is not only to help individuals see the gospel story throughout Scripture but also to position parents to have meaningful conversations in the home based on what they are talking about at church. The church and home aren’t to work in isolation of each other—they are to work hand-in-hand in partnership.

8. Pray with them and for them.

Just as you want to have meaningful gospel conversations throughout the day with your kids, you want to pray with them and for them as well. Think about the opportunities you have each day, such as in the car on the way to school and as part of your bedtime routine, and use some of that time to pray together.

*Original post may be found at https://gospelproject.lifeway.com/8-tips-to-help-you-disciple-your-kids/. Written by Brian Dembowczyk.

Continue reading “How to Disciple Your Kids: 8 Tips” →

Children & Church

On By Jarrett Ray FletcherIn Miscellaneous2 Comments

What if our children saw church,
not as a place where their parents went out of mundane routine, but a place where they delighted to go?

What if our children saw church as the place where their parents expected to meet with God, worship Him, and learn to walk with Him?

What if our children saw church as the place where their parents looked for opportunities to speak to, encourage, and pray for other members?

What if our children saw church as the place where their parents cheerfully gave their money, time, and resources to the mission of God?

What if our children saw the church as the place where their parents were constantly inviting their friends, family, and even strangers to go?

What if our children saw the church as the place where their parents were refreshed and invigorated for the week ahead?

What if our children saw the church as the place that their parents valued so highly that almost nothing came in the way of their attending?

How might all of this affect the child’s, and future adult’s, view of church?
The next generation is watching us, parents! By the grace of God, may we demonstrate through our attitudes and actions the incredible value, beauty, and privilege of being a part of God’s church