I recently heard a counselor tell parents that one of the most helpful tools in raising children is the remembrance of their own childhood. This helps the parent remember what it felt like to be a child, including both the positive and negative aspects.

For example, it helps the parent consider how little things can be huge things to kids, like the friend that hurt their feelings during recess. In our adult minds, we know it was likely a minor thing and not worth getting all worked up about. But for them, it is as if their world came crashing down on the playground.

Remembering what it felt like to be a child helps us have sympathy and compassion for children and their experience of life. It enables us to enter their world, so to speak, and comprehend the things that matter (or don’t matter) to them.

Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses as one who was tempted in every way as we are, yet was without sin. He can sympathize with children, too, because he was one. He is not just our perfect high priest, but theirs too. He can understand their world, their struggles, and their dreams. He also knows what children are capable of, even when adults can’t see it.

Let the Children Come to Me

Jesus’ disposition towards children is displayed in several of the gospels. Consider this story from Mark 10. “And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them” (Mk 10:13-16).

Who was bringing children to Jesus? Probably their parents, siblings, or grandparents! Why? “That he might touch them” (v. 13)  It is possible that they had heard of Jesus’ power and how that power had been revealed through touch (Mk 1:40-42, 5:25-34). Maybe touching Jesus would make their children strong and healthy or wise and successful. Maybe it would even make them more obedient!

I think its more likely that they were seeking a blessing for their children. Blessings were often conveyed by the laying on of hands (Gen 48:14). So these parents probably though it would be good for Jesus to touch their children. Wouldn’t you?

We went to a live show recently to see some of the characters that my kids enjoy watching on TV. I was shocked at the lengths that parents were going to help their kids get a chance to see, maybe even touch, one of the characters up close. Why? Because they thought it would be special and meaningful for their kid.

I imagine that’s what drove the thinking of these children’s parents. If they do it for television characters, how much more for the Son of God, the Messiah that they believe has come to set their people free? Who wouldn’t want their children to see, touch, and talk to him?

Apparently the disciples didn’t share the parent’s sentiments. In fact, they rebuked those who brought the children (v. 13)! Why? Maybe they thought the children were young to understand who Jesus was and didn’t need to see him. Maybe they thought that a group of rambunctious kids would bother Jesus or distract him from what really mattered. Either way, I think they clearly believed that Jesus had better things to do.

Mark records that Jesus was indignant. This word could also be translated as anger: “When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples”(NLT).The word means to become aroused or displeased at something that is assumed to be wrong. And for Jesus, preventing children from coming to him was wrong.

“Let the children come to me,” he says. “Do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Mk 10:14). Jesus’ disciples rebuked those who were bringing children to Jesus, but Jesus rebukes his disciples who were preventing children from coming to him. Why? Because the kingdom belongs to children!

In the first chapter of Mark, Jesus proclaims that the kingdom of God is at hand (Mk 1:13). The kingdom of God dawned on humanity with the birth of Christ. Jesus’ work as the messiah was to bring, inaugurate, and establish the kingdom of God. The disciples understood this, in part. But they didn’t understand that children were a part of that kingdom.

Rather, they were focused on which one of them would be the greatest in Christ’s kingdom. “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’” (Matt 18:1-4).

How can Jesus say that the kingdom of God belongs to children? Because they are the only ones who naturally exemplify the humility necessary to enter it. “Who ever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” As such, Jesus delights in them.

Children aren’t convinced of their self-sufficiency yet. Even though my four year old thinks he can open the peanut butter jar without me, he still humbly brings it to me as soon as he realizes he can’t. Though he thinks he can do some things without me, he knows he still needs me.

As an adult, I have a great relationship with my father. I love him, but I don’t need him as much as I did when I was a child. Of course, I still need him in many ways, but I am less dependent on him now because I have become an independent adult. In many ways independence is a good thing. God wants us to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse (Gen 2:24). But he never wants us to leave him and believe that we can do everything ourselves.

When Jesus looked at children, he saw souls who were still humble. Who weren’t afraid to acknowledge that they need the help of another. Who weren’t like the people who are well and have no need for a physician, but like those who are sick and know they need a doctor (Matt 9:12). That’s why he tells his disciples that they must turn and become like them.

Furthermore, Jesus answers the question regarding who the greatest in his kingdom is. Those who are as humble as children! Children themselves, already possessing the humility Jesus calls his disciples to emulate, are great in his kingdom, which is why Jesus rebukes his disciples for preventing them from coming to him. They are not a distraction from the work of his kingdom. They are heirs of his kingdom!

Our Own Children

The primary meaning of these two passages is this: those who would enter Christ’s kingdom must receive the kingdom of God like children. We must reject any notion of us earning our place in God’s kingdom and realize that we, like a young child, must completely depend on our Father’s grace and mercy extended to us in his Son. However, I do believe that there are practical implications from these passages for our own children. Here’s a few.

Making Disciples

First and foremost, we cannot put off discipleship until they are older. From the moment they are born, we should be praying over them, telling them Bible stories, singing worship songs, and sharing the gospel with them at their level. The early years are some of the most formative years of brain development. They can also provide the foundation of spiritual development!

Children may also exhibit faith before we can clearly discern it. If you raise a child to always believe in the God who sent his Son to save us from our sins, there may not be a clearly discernible moment of salvation. And that’s ok! The goal is for them to believe, not for you to know exactly when they believed. The children in Mark 10 were believing in a way that the disciples did not understand, and their faith was admirable to Christ. So much so that he used their faith as a model!

Children may also not believe the gospel for years. While I do believe in an age of accountability, I do not know when that age is, and I think it may vary from child to child. Its not necessarily an age but rather a moment when the child becomes responsible for his or her own sin and is able to consciously reject and disobey God.

However, there is a time where children do become accountable to God, so we must be diligent in our presentation of the gospel. There is no time for laziness here! We must give our children countless opportunities to hear the gospel and implore them to believe in Christ. One of the best ways to do this is by modeling the gospel yourself by being willing to admit your sins and failures, asking for forgiveness, and reminding them that you also need Jesus and have found abundant forgiveness in him.

The Local Church

Outside of sharing the gospel with our children in our own family, one of the best ways to bring them to Jesus is by involving them in a local church family. Find a good church that preaches the gospel, teaches the Bible, and takes ministering to children seriously. There are churches that do children’s ministry extremely well, though the model may look different from church to church. Some churches do this by involving children in worship with their parents at a young age. Other churches do it by having a separate “kids church” location where the gospel is taught at their level until they reach a certain age.

Even though there will be different ways that churches go about it, look for one that values children and takes discipling them seriously. I think two things are helpful and needful: making sure that some teaching is done at a kid’s level and allowing children to see their parents worship, take in the Word, and fellowship with the body.

You still want your children to be involved in the life of the church, not just sent to a Sunday morning daycare at the church. But you also want them to hear the Bible and the gospel taught at their level, rather than just being an observer of a ministry geared towards adults.

You also want to find ways to involve them in the body. Get there early. Stay late. Go out to eat with other families. Have families over for meals. If you’re invited to other families’ houses, go together! An elderly couple in their eighties invited our family over for a meal. We went, and while it was not necessarily easy, we had a great time! Now my kids know that couple much better, and when we see them on Sundays, they hug them and speak to them. These members have told my wife and me that our children bring them such joy and how special they feel when they interact with them. Our kids are a part of the body, and they contribute to its health more than we often think!

It is difficult to overstate the importance of this. Make church the number one thing that your family commits to. It should trump everything else, including sports (many parents may need to read that sentence again). Let your kids see you looking forward to it all week. My wife and I intentionally talk about Sunday being our favorite day and how we can’t wait for it. Prepare the day before. Pick out clothes and go to bed on time. Pray together for the services, the pastors, the members, the lost, and the hurting. Go to church with an expectation to meet God and enjoy fellowship with his people.

At church, be present. Let your kids see you joyfully interacting with other members. Let them see you worship, take notes, open your Bible, pray, celebrate baptism, take the Lord’s supper, and give! Spend time after church discussing messages or re-singing worship songs from the morning. If they went to their own class, ask them about the lesson and what they learned from it. Then share what you learned!

I can promise you this. Kids will learn far more from your example of how you experience church than they will learn from what you say about church. They will pick up on the priority you place on attendance, the attitude that you have when you go, the way that speak to people when you’re there, the joy you have in worship, and the meaning you take from the preached Word. They are watching you and assessing how valuable church is based on your experience.

So be committed. But make sure to tell them why your family is committed to church. That’s important. You don’t want to raise kids to think legalistically: “we always go to church because that’s what good Christians do.”

Rather, you want them to think about the church as the bride of Christ, where his people gather as a spiritual family to exercise and strengthen their faith through preaching, worship, baptism, communion, and fellowship. You want them to think of the church as the people that you live life with and as team Jesus that you reach the world with.

That’s how you bring them to Jesus.

Becoming Children of God

Why does all of this matter? Because God’s goal is for us and for our children to become his children. Though many people say that we are all God’s children naturally, the Bible paints a different picture. Paul tells the Ephesians that they all, him included, were children of wrath because they “lived in the passions of their flesh” (Eph 2:3).

But notice what Paul says about the rest of the world. “We all…were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind” (Eph 2:2-3). All of mankind is by nature a child of wrath. John writes that those who do not practice righteousness are children of the devil (1 John 3:10). And we come into the world not loving or practicing righteousness.

Unfortunately, we can not rescue ourselves from this predicament. Just as we can’t change who our earthly parents are, we can’t escape Satan’s rule over us. Nor do we want to. Left to ourselves, we will revel in our chains and delight in the mire, even though it wrecks our lives and leads to death. Unless light comes, we would never know we are living in darkness.

Here’s the point I am trying to make: We are completely unable to make ourselves children of God. But God is able!That’s exactly what Christ came to do, to save God’s children from lifelong slavery to Satan and death (Heb 2:14-15). Consider these verses that demonstrate God’s intention in making us his children:

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).[1]

“See what kind of the love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1).

“I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Cor 6:18).

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs- heirs of God and fellow heirs of Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom 8:16-17).

Let’s go back to Jesus telling his disciples that they must become like children. Why does he do that? Jesus calls us to become like children because he intends to make us children of God. We must be like earthly children to become spiritual children, by depending on, trusting in, and obeying our heavenly Father. That’s God’s plan for us, and for our children, that together we will all become his children, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.

That’s why children matter. They are future citizens of the kingdom of God. We raise children to become children, so that they too might become heirs with Christ, and continue reaching the world for him!

Application

1. Rejoice that you are a child of God, a co-heir with Christ, a citizen of God’s kingdom.
2. Identify areas in your own spiritual life where you can become more childlike (prayer, faith, obedience, release of control, etc.)
3. Find ways to model childlike faith to the children in your life. For example, pray when your anxious or concerned and let them hear you pray. Better yet, invite them to pray with you!
4. View your children as future citizens of God’s kingdom. Evaluate the way you’re raising them. Are you raising them to be primarily a citizen of man’s kingdom or primarily a citizen of God’s kingdom?
5. Commit to a local church and involve your children in the life of the church.

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[1] Emphasis added.