In my previous post, I contended that discipleship must take place in the context of relationships. But how do we create and invest in relationships with those whom we intend to disciple? Here are a few ideas:

1. Pray for them.

One of the most important things you can do in any disciple-making relationship is to pray for that person. It blesses the person as well as your relationship with them. As we take people before God in prayer, our hearts become invested in their spiritual well-being. We look for evidence of God’s work in their lives; we want to see it and be a part of it!

2. Pray with them.

Don’t just pray for the people you are discipling. Pray with them. As you do, you will be modeling what it looks like to pray. Remember, much more is caught than taught in disicipling relationships! Prayer will also unite your hearts as you spend time together in God’s presence.

3. Spend time together.

For any relationship to grow, you must spend time together. There will be times when you meet for “official” discipleship meetings, but don’t stop there. Invest in the relationship outside of set meeting times. Invite whoever you’re mentoring to join you in normal life activities: eating, running errands, playing with the kids, going to get ice cream, etc.

Recently, I needed to dig a hole for a new basketball goal, so I asked one of the guys in my discipleship group to come over one morning and help me dig the hole. After we finished, we sat in lawn chairs and admired our work as we talked about life. Another guy from my group came the next day and helped me mix concrete set the goal in place (it wasn’t easy, mind you, so we had to persevere together!). In each situation, I was able to spend quality time with these guys and strengthen our relationship.

4. Talk with them.

When you spend time together, talk. Ask intentional questions. Here are some questions you could use to get a conversation started:

• How are you doing? How is your family?
• How is school/work going? Tell me about what you do each day.
• How are you doing spiritually?
• When did you first believe the gospel? How has your life changed since then?
• What was your childhood like?
• Where would you like to grow in your relationship with God?
• What do you feel like God is teaching you right now?

Again, you don’t have to always have spiritual conversation, but you don’t want to stay at the surface level (weather, sports, politics) forever. Get to know each other as you spend time together. You’ll find that God will bless and direct these conversations. Some of the most fruitful times I have spent with those I am mentoring came from unofficial discipleship meetings and random conversations.

Another way to stay in contact is to utilize technology. You could text them weekly and see how they are doing, or text them about things going on in your life and ask for prayer. Update them when you see God answer. Send them funny memes or good articles. If you’re running an errand, give them call while you drive. Send them videos you took of something at home or in your family. Think through the ways you naturally keep up with your closest family and friends, and do it with them!

5. Love them.

Jesus taught His disciples, trained His disciples, ate with His disciples, ministered with His disciples, and traveled with His disciples. But the most important thing He did for His disciples was love them. He loved them by serving them (see John 13:1-17) and by laying down His life for them (John 15:13). Jesus invites us to follow Him and love others the way He has loved us, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).

How can you love those you’re mentoring? Do the things we’ve mentioned above. Invest time, effort, and intentionality in building a relationship with them. As you do this, there will be multiple opportunities to share Christ’s love with them, whether that is by providing wise counsel, a listening ear, encouragement, dedicated prayer, physical resources, or just your presence. God will use your love for them to remind them how Christ loves them and how He wants them to love others. And that is what discipleship is all about!

So, who can you invest in a relationship with to help them follow Jesus better? And which of these things can you begin to do now to invest in that relationship?